suppose someone gets me to sit down and reflect on what i've done in my "up-till-now" lifetime, i would say,

- life has taken a toll on me.
- i'm satisfied yet deep down my human nature insists i want more from this joyride of mine.

well, somehow, i regret not being sensible enough to plan my future back then. still, we'll put that blame on us being young, and never leaving the word "childish". we never had a clear state of mind back then do we? perhaps, not even now. we'll never have in any case. humans are never satisfied, and regardless of what, all of us want to be perfect. thus, we often find faults.

often i will think of certain routes i thought i would plan for my kids (if any in future). i don't want them to have regrets and thoughts like "wah lau, mummy last time never say. see larh, now i got nothing." i don't want to hear these but, i cannot be selfish.

simply because i fail to achieve what i've aimed to achieve and there i go again somehow forcing someone who might not have a stand to retaliate do something i've always yearned to but which failed to of what might be something the latter do not enjoy doing.

yet, advicing them isn't right too. i don't want a child with an adult's mind. being an adult is not an easy job. i want them to be carefree and yes, enjoy life as a child like a child.

we cannot put our hopes on others. because if we do so, they'll become hopeless. see, they live with a direction so well planned, but end up without hopes of their own. nonono!

i see how fragile humans are. i might be talking to you today, and perhaps either of us would bid this world goodbye say, the minute we turn our heads around.

anyway, i don't wish to go on any further. the atmoshpere is very poor as it is already. so, time for some "good" news i guess.

i made durian puffs again! =)

this time round, it was even more successful than my previously already successful attempt. hope my cousies and uncles and aunties will like them.

when you are doing something for someone you care, the feeling is truely different. try it, to feel it and then, believe it.


想哭的冲动, 开始在失去以后
已经擦干了泪, 为何还有点痛
该说的时候, 早应该大声的说
爱已经留下缺口, 剩下沉默
不说出的温柔, 让你离开我
去拥抱你要的梦, 别担心我
我会好好过.