should i or should i not?

whatever.

i don't want to use this chance to get together with my friends. i dislike the feeling. it makes me feel cheap somehow.

but yet i really am not interested at all. it seems like a ploy. a plot so well planned to make me lose everything, including my pride.

i might be thinking too much, but girls, at times i can't help to stop the devil in me from thinking that much.

at the end of everything, you guys gain it all, and i lose them all, as like usual.

life is just so fucked.
______________________________________contradicted yet agn at 2:20 am ;