before i forget...

i have been thinking alot again lately.

one day if i were to ever have children, i'll make sure i insert the correct views, values, mindset into them as early as age 5.

i don't care if others are to say things like my kids are thinking too much or whatever. i don't want them to regret!

see, i now regret my younger days for spending money on toys, etc. i should have saved up the sum of money, and perhaps now i have already finished touring paris or wherever.

i don't know if this applies to all, but i realised that money is never a problem when i was a child. even up till sec 2. but since i started working part-time, i seem to be financially independent. mummy says, you can earn it yourself.

that somehow sarks, but at the same time, i gained working experiences, and also learnt how to save. spending other's money is super easy. but forking out your own, you'd probably say no. haha. it's just typical and normal.

looking back, and prying forward, i really don't know what landed me to this stage in life.

i have too many wants. and i can't meet my demands. i need to be rich. also i have been suppressing. but how long can it last?

i'll burst one day.

like i always said, i guess sub-conciously i need a terribly rich husband to meet all my needs as i know, even though i'd prefer working for what i want myself, it'd probably take me forever. and travel the world only when you're old? no! i don't want wrinkles on my pictures! thus, i need someone who can grant me all these when i'm younger. haha.

but again, i'm not materialistic. see, i don't like the idea of spending guy's money. i'd feel so guilty. even at times when i'm like terribly poor, i restrain myself too. haha.

i don't fancy branded goods. though undeniably, yes, i like them, but i won't want to WANT them. just tell me how different can one wearing a ralph lauren polo-tee guy and a giordano polo-tee guy be? they are still MAN. you don't need branded goods to make you look good.

see, i am still freakingly contradicted. i need to teach my kids, rather, INSERT alot of such stuffs into my kids while they're still young so that they will not take after my contradictive character.

conciously and sub-conciously i behave and think so differently.

i want, but i am rejecting, though i think i need.

anyone caught that? if not, read it over again. i don't think it's difficult to understand.

bahh. why must life be so tough?
______________________________________contradicted yet agn at 3:06 am ;