No one is PERFECT. We were created with certain flaws and strength. Flaws that make us unique to someone else. Strength that make us stand out among the others.

if you ever suffer a setback in life, do not withdraw. step up. let yourself know, it isn't the right people who'd find you unique or recognise your strength that is bringing shines to yourself that you've met. move on. believe that someday, somehow, somewhat, there is someone (at least) who'd be most willing to do so.

i mentioned i had lots of views and perspectives. this is a right moment to and here it goes.

and perhaps, i have the need to explain myself once again. the me i have been trying to change for years. when i felt "like this" is good, something bad about "like this" takes place, and then i turned to "like that", yet, history repeats.

additional informations, i haven't been someone who do things with thorough thoughts. i can never maintain a steady composure. i freak out when something arises. and do all sort of stupid nonsenses. you name it, i did it. and thanks to that, most of the times, i am misunderstood and when i realised, i never knew how to salvage it. and let it pass.

as much as i hate making enemies (who do?), i often get myself stirred into other's businesses and make some. hahahas. how foolish. i don't understand why as well. perhaps i ain't a tactful someone, perhaps i am blunt.

also thanks to my signature black face that everyone sees, is in fact the expression i'll have when i have nothing to say. you can't expect or force me to laugh, smile, giggle whole day throughout? sorry, unless i no longer am elaine ho, you can't catch me doing that 24/7. hahas.!

maybe, my new year resolution for 2006 would be to gossip less (hahas), which would somehow be tough, for which woman don't gossip? perhaps, i'd restrict myself to gossiping on general issues. lol. this wouldn't be a problem i guess. and i'd go back to giving lots of political points of views yet again. lol.

maybe to assume things less as well. but as hard as ms goh has been telling me not too as well, i can't seem to avoid this thing. you see, i get cranky very easily. DAMN easily i shall say, then hop on to assumptions. and if i'm able to convince myself that i'm thinking too much by being able to list down facts and factors, nothing happens. if i can't, i'd go on and on. trust me or not, i am seeing a replica of myself from my mum. she is like that too. i also tell her "not to, not to." often, but to no avail. maybe, it's just in our genes. i tell myself "not to, not to." still, it has been hopeless. perhaps i should put in extra effort to change. and yes. without trust, comes assumptions. yarh. i guess so.

i'd still like to go on, and perhaps this post would let others get a "clearer" idea about the way i behave. but i'm really drawn away from sleep these days and totally tired from working for a few consecutive days. if anything could help, anything can help. hopefully, the above is clear enough.

and strongly on this point, i don't know why, but i gossip in my nature, though i seriously don't mean harm; at all. funny right? that's why i describe myself with enigmatic. because i am hard to understand. i don't understand myself quite well either.

till then.


______________________________________contradicted yet agn at 1:59 am ;