drats. i'm left to contradict once agn!

higher pay, or experience?

fun, or stability?

i believe tht i dun wna wrk till i (mayb get married or smth) without doin' my mass comm tingy i've yearned to owis do. but whtevr the case larhs. i reli dunno wht shld i do nw.

y isn't thr owis ample time for mi to tink things through? mayb slowly one by one, the factors i consider. issue by issue. shit. whr's the time in the wrld? is thr ani for mi at all?

or darn my contradicting self which makes time seem to disappear? for no matter hw long a time i may get, thr isn't enuff for mi to make up a decision?

i haf frens who tinks tht law firm is gd, thou' i hafta bear wif the meagre pay.

also frens who tinks tht i shld carry on wif bqt-ing since i've my "netwrk" of frens at it also and tht i'm still young, y nort make use of tis still kicking strng body to make a pile through my sweat? in any case since i'm oni tryin' to save up for my mass comm tingy.

both partieSSS haf teir strng supportive pts. i hate to admit, but i'm sure i'd def. be more happy wif bqt-ing thou' it isn't smth relaxing like office jobs.

so, mayb like sur suggested, try out tht law firm for a wk. see hw tings goes. if i haf no probs gettin' fitted into tht place, i shld carry on. else, tender my resignation, and CHIONG bqt till i save up enuff and get back to studies.

i believe my mum will support my decision. BUT. thnks to dunno whoevr tht fcukin' fortune teller. she told my mum i'd do better in wrkin' thn studyin' and my mum is freakin' strng-headed in mi gettin' a "stable" job. cuz my dad is like kpkb-ing evrydae bout mi wrkin' bqt.

i mean, let mi do wht i enjoy doin' alrite? do u suppose i cld haf frens ard mi wrkin' bqt still whn i'm at YOUR age? and seriously, bqt pays reasonably WELL, esp for the fact tht i'm a female, i don't haf to slog as hard as the guys are. but thou', i'm slogging harder thn some idiots who lorve acting NOOB larh.

i've owis lorved sec skool lifestyle, whrby we're the kings n queens. we rule the skool instead of the skool dominating us. and bqt-ing gibs mi tht kinda feeling. the ballroom is our clsroom. i wldn't accept my colleagues as my skool-mates thou', for i haf REAL skool-mates wrkin' wif mi thr. i mean, the repayment in bqt-ing for ya shagness is the FUN u get wif ya mates. don't anione agree?

and our supper evrynite afta wrk is one of my favs. we get to "complain" abt stuffs and the v.nxt moment, i lorve my wrk even more. because afta lettin' evryting out, i feel DARN GREAT.

i reli hope tht i wld be able to convince myself to be led by my heart tis time rd in makin' decisions, instead of heeding "advices" frm my parents or whtevr/whoevr.

bless wish lead mi thru. i hope evryting'd go smoothly as i like. 1 wk is all i hafta try and get rid of my contradictions. yes. 1 wk. i'd be flyin' on saturday. cuz i'd get back to INSTANT cash jobs. lols. bqt-ing. and and and!! jiamin is joinin' mi. hahas.

whtevr tht case. i'm like usin' lotsa whtevr. i doubt i'm the whtevr kinda person. i do BOTHER! but i'm juz a freaked out contradict like i muz mention agn. bahhhs.


______________________________________contradicted yet agn at 4:50 am ;