impossible is nth. - adidas.

it act seems more appropriate for mi. since many impossibles took place ard mi.

been tinkin' alot lately. if u're interested to take a peek at tis impossible life of mine, do carry on. it might juz get naggy.

on 25th october 1986, a v.impossible tingy happened at mt elizabeth hospital. mine cry. soo much strong objections upon my birth. tings due to zodiac sign is bad lah. will bring family harm.. and stuffs like my heartbeat is abnormal. doctor spotted mi wif 2 heartbeats while i was still in mama's womb. both doctor and grandma suggested and adviced my mum to abort mi. bud tinkin' tht i'm da first child, mum went agnst grandma, and doctor too felt, aborting at da 5th or 6th mth is doin' da pregnant lady too much harm. thus, i was brought to tis wrld.

as i grew up. i did many hilarious stuffs for all i know. wht, i reli can't remember. tht was for before i went to primary sko0l. all my kindergarten jokes were - blank. all i cld remember was, i was in da same kindergarten as my cousie, shallyn. same cls. i owis had birthday celebrations in sko0l, and had a piano cake whn i was in nursery. cool rite? and i remember my cousie crying at one corner whn her purple balloon burst. i also remember my teacher, breaking her v.long last finger nail bcuz a boy pulled it. and she cried v.hard. also, nvr to be erased frm my memory, 2 twins, male, are da bad eggs in cls. tey were often or rathr owis punished by nort being allowed to plae "masak-masak". tey den sat at 1 table and shouted "durian durian, 3 for $10" and wht was funny was, tey both had durian haircuts. heh'. tht's for all i cld roughly rember. lols.

i transfered to hg pap whn i was k2. happened to be in da same cls as peijun, whom i seriously can't remember until peijun told mi. and u can't blame mi for nort recognising her. she looked totally dif! she was soo fair back thn. lols. and my clearest memory during my k2 period was, a girl, named suhui i guess. we were always fighting to sit behind da leader. i knew i wanted to sit behind him simply becuz i wna be infront. bud for suhui, lil' did i noe her reason till da dae she approached mi. earli in da morning.. she cored mi to one corner, and said "if u like him, nxt time u grow up marry him lah. bud nw i want to sit behind him, and let mi." -.-"' kids thse daes. lols. i did not react much, and said, "i want to sit behind!" and i went off. haas. i'm bad. lols.

anthr incident was whn mama was in da hospital giving birth to my sis. my grandma brght mi to sko0l. i knew i ain't tht type to cry bcuz mama did nort bring mi to sko0l like she owis did. bud i can't recall for wht reason, i guess it's becuz i ovrheard da adults worrying tht i might cry if grandma brght mi to sko0l.. and thus, i screamt and cried like mad in cls. lols. embarassing.

tings are juz starting to get interesting. i reli wondered wht kinda mindset or rathr personality had been inserted to mi since i was a baby tinkin' back. if sciences believed in pre-natal call, den i guess i wld be one of hatred. imagine soo mani pple agnst my coming to tis wrld? whahaha*

my primary sko0l life was idiotic too. i wanted to enrol into h.i.p.s. bud tht was a failed attempt. u cld juz imagine larhs. thse frm h.i.p.s.. i used to live in blk 301. da block directly oppisite da sko0l field. u don't even haf to cross any roads to get thr. i owis c da dif pple running in da field. some of whom might haf been my clsmates or sko0l mates in h.i.h.s.. whtever. i was given a chance to ballot lata on. the stupid ting was, i was among da v.first few to arrive. and threw in my coupon. my golden chance to get a sit in tht sko0l. and was selected to go up on stage to draw lots. a total of 8 kids i seriously remember. one of whom happened to be my charlton pri clsmate, teo chee meng. imagine tht impact? okie. results haf been shown. i did nort get in. i cried, made a din, and was appeased whn grandma bought mi an ice-cream frm h.i.p.s.. i do not deny tht one of da reasons y i wanted to get into h.i.p.s badly was nort becuz i can slp late. bud, tey had a canteen stall tht sells ice-cream. hahas. which, at tht pt of time, nort many sko0l has. heh'.

well, charlton primary. fate. it runs in a pri 1,2, 3, 5 afternoon, and pri 1, 2, 3, 4, 6 morning session system. so, for my parent's convenience, tey opted for da morning session. yeah. 1A.. afta a yr of mingling wif frens, we moved on to primary 2. was automatically moved onto cls 2P. aftanoon session. my mum was....! so, she asked for a transfer to mornin' session. ended up in 2A. den, afta anthr yr, moved on to pri 3, afternoon. and agn, my mum asked for transfer. ended up in 3A, den suddenly, to 3B. and, agn, anthr bunch of frens. cuz my previously pri 1A frens are all in 3A nw. god. den, pri 4. back in 4A. yes. met wif all my frens agn. and if u guys did nort noe, i was a straight A student back thn. fighting and challenging. and .. EM1. yes. i needed tht. and it was such a glory to be in 4A, 5P and 6A back in charlton primary. imagine.

bud, i did nort make it to EM1 eventually. i fell into da optional programme. dad opted EM2. he felt da difference was oni a higher mothr tongue. thus, did not wna pressurize mi whn preparing for PSLE. bud still, i landed in 5P. tis yr, my mum had no sae bud to let mi attend aftanoon lessons. reason bcuz, primary 5 classes are held oni in da aftanoon. was supposed to be in 6A da nxt yr. bud i transferred sko0l. due to my shifting to sengkang's residential estate. yupz. and i remember guoqiang.. he was ranked below mi. and tht if i transferred before we were allocated to our respective classes in charlton, he might haf had a chance ot get into 6A. haas. tht was wht he told mi whn i chanced upon him during sec 1 i guess. lols. sorry.

pri 6. da EXCITING year. i surprised evryone. like da chinese saying, "evryone dropped their glasses" yes. i was da "expected" straight As student.. aiming for cedar secondary, and planning onto acing in ccas n stuffs. bud, u noe, god makes miracles, god does wonders. i fell sick during psle.

gort a D for science, and ended up in normal academic, and pulling dwn my total aggregate to a pitiful 175. dun ask mi why. my prelims was a 244. and i thot i juz had to wrk a lil' more harder to get into cedar. u get tht agony?

whle family was shocked. u can sae, evryone who knew me. yupz. i was devastated as well. bud i told myself, come on. it was juz a small stone i stumbled upon. picked myself up real quickly. whn i gort into h.i.h.s, sec 1/2.. my family expected mi once agn, to jump frm normal to express. tey thot i was god. frm sec 1 to 3.. tey held on to tht hope. and once agn, i made teir jaws drop. i retained in sec 3. wht the? u muz be wondering huhz? perhaps, i overlooked da standards of da normal academic stream.

during tht yr of retain, i met new frens. and i realised i wanted to live a new life. to mayb get less involved wif old frens. bud u noe, i nvr cld. was juz tied thr, thou i felt soo much like a puppet. i wrked hard tht year. in e end, i cleared da final yr exams wif a 8th position in cls. boy. tht was at LEAST something. thou, i knew it was some of da best among da wrst.

we moved on to sec 4. flunked my mid yrs.. and stuffs. missing frm sko0l and whtevr. teachers almost gave up on mi. bud, tey dropped both teir jaws and glasses whn da n-lvl results were announced. i did something IMPOSSIBLE agn. like i said, impossible is reli nth to mi. i am owis making impossibles possible. i surprisingly gort da 10th position for my whole cohort. evryone was shocked. i cld remember qianyi slapping my back, "sai kia!" mrs chua and ms oh lookin at mi, and thn da projector, to double confirm tht da projector wasn't spoilt or tht is thr anthr elaine ho? whahahas*.

back to sec 5, teachers seemed to haf been less tense wif mi. i was like.. able to do tings my style. so long as i pass important cls tests. all tht past 16 yrs.. seemed like a mirage. so far yet soo near. tings seemed to be repeating. bud in dif. ways. and nvr did i noe i was gna fail my o-lvls. althou, i had a L1R4 of 26, bud i passed oni 2 subjects. eng n chi. imagine? da upset i had in mi?

i wanted soo badly to do mass comm. a subject whr i had to oni make use of my languages to full extents. and.. i had to gif it up due to e othr weaker subjects. i was at a total loss.

and gosh. look back at tht girl frm all da A clsses, fall to n/a's B clsses, and dwn to ITE. u nvr wld imagine. and i swear i made efforts. perhaps, simply nort enuff. bud soon, i choose to belif tht all tht happened were predestined. in anthr wrd, FATE.

i nvr had da courage to face rejection as u cld c, i nvr once faced rejection whn i was in my younger daes. all went so well. and i owis found a reason for i myself to move on. and frens owis said i had naive thots in matters of whtever, esp bgr.. i wld be left speechless.

and in my rathr strict family, i nvr knew hw to communicate wif guys. in my younger daes, i found guys to be aliens. and i nvr wanted to get to em and tok to em. i felt, i dun need em. and mama didn't like mi to get too involved wif guys. and tis "didn't like" mayb had too deep an impact in mi, thus leading mi to persevere till i was sec 3, whn i met gqz, and had ling to convince mi, guys are juz like gals. whahahas. fine.

u c, in all my life, i nvr needed courage to do aniting. i simply had da means to. so, i nvr found courage. and if i nvr had courage, hw am i to approach someone i haf a fancy on tht i am interested in him? and also to pin point.. i nvr faced rejection tht often.? so.. pls stop ur "if i were u, i grab liao ar" "dun so scared lor. like pple no fault de wht" stuffs like tht. i noe wht i want, bud i dunno hw to administer my life. and i believe, god will turn tings fine for mi. and grant my my eventual wish. yes. hopefully. althou' i may seem to be a needle in a haystack to god. juz anthr one in da millions.

it's gettin' long. and i guess mani might haf oreadi quit reading tis stuff. bud, lastly, i muz mention tht..

* i nvr regretted gettin' into n/a.. retainning and stuffs like tht. for whtever bad tings happened to mi, i was granted anthr better one.

a few i wld mention,
- a stronger bond wif ling. yes. charlton, hihs, simei. and on and on. hopefully.
- to noe guys ain't hard to interact wif - gqz deserves da credit.
- able to accept set backs more easily.

tht shld be all. a rough summary of my 18yrs of livelihood on earth.